Unfortunately, it’s a false sense of well-being and is entirely dependent on the actions of others (thus the inevitable crippling neediness).
For men and women, growth in relationship is in direct proportion to one’s sense of emotional responsibility.
To dispel the misconceptions, let’s take a look at some of the universal truths about guys and breakups – some of which may surprise you since they certainly are hidden from the surface. Simple enough to say, but I know plenty of women will talk about how some guy came off like an insensitive jackass after the relationship fell apart because of his actions post-breakup.
Maybe he changes his lifestyle, stops hanging out with certain friends, or changes his habits.
It seems innocent enough, but over time the guy begins to starve for whatever it was he got from the things he gave up.
Move on immediately, you’ll save yourself a whole lot of time and heartache.” MORE: Ask a Guy: How Can I Avoid Being the Rebound?
A guy once told me that, “A man is devastated at the end of a relationship to the extent to which he sold himself out.” What does it mean for a guy to sell himself out (in the context of a relationship)?
For people that haven’t yet fully realized that all of us need to be emotionally responsible (which is most people), this is where much of the pain of the breakup originates from (they blame themselves for not “measuring up”…
or they blame the other person for not “making them happy”… It’s incredibly painful to believe that someone else could be responsible for your emotions or that you could possibly be responsible for their emotions.In the same regard, when a relationship ends, it is much much harder for a guy to go back and discuss and revisit and talk through and explain, etc. In fact, guys like to keep their emotional spectrum focused on a tight range of emotions – somewhere between amusement and contentedness.So any interaction that a guy knows will bring him out of that sweet range of emotions is an interaction he’s going to do everything he can to avoid.all they feel is suffering and they want it to end. and honestly, I think all of us, man and woman, have been there at one time or another. It doesn’t mean anything about you, your worth, your attractiveness, your value, etc.Again, all this was said in the context of if they guy was the one who was dumped. I hate to say it, but this is usually a case where the guy wasn’t feeling happy with the relationship for a while and when another opportunity came along, he jumped ship. I don’t have much to say about it, other than that it sucks and that your best move is to move on, get back out there and date new people. It has nothing to do with you, you don’t need to understand, you don’t need closure.I realize it probably came off jerky, but when I cut off communication, my heart is in the right place.