After all, keeping things in a tight routine is how he stops himself from getting caught out and also how he fits you into his schedule. Choose someone you trust and who can be supportive but tell you that it’s time to quit. If you’ve been in relationships that have a habit of wearing down your self esteem and you want to understand your relationship patterns, or feel you need a little extra help to get you through this time, this is a great way of giving you support.
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When you’re The Other Woman, it’s a rollercoaster of highs and lows and at some point, you should and probably will become sick of being in the situation and will want to break off the affair.
Breaking up is generally hard to do even when we really want to and know that it’s the right thing.
The latter is how many readers have exited not just from affairs but also from abusive relationships. There is also no point in dating if it’s a way of passing time in the hope of filling in the gap until the married guy potentially becomes available. There is no quick fix and the right decision doesn’t always feel good initially. Weather the storm, cold turkey it out and let out the tears and frustration but don’t give in. Also check out the in the downloads section – the former will help you to identify and transform unhealthy beliefs and the latter will help you to explore your feelings and address current and old anger that may be affecting your decision to be in the affair or keeping you stuck in it. Address other areas of your life that have suffered whilst you were with him.
The only time you should date is when you are truly ready to move on and Mr Married/Attached doesn’t figure any longer. No matter what you think, something or someone, or both, suffered while you focused your energies on your situation.
Affairs can be extra tough to walk away from because there’s that fear that you haven’t been understanding and patient enough – you have – and that all pervasive fear that you’re going to break up with Mr Married/Attached just at that moment when he was actually going to leave his wife/girlfriend.
There’s the sense of rejection, loss, and even abandonment that can be activated by an affair.
Before you go down the breakup route, do have an honest conversation with you and ask: Is this a halfhearted cry for attention from him that I hope will force his hand into making the decision to be with me? This is how you lose credibility and open you up to more pain.
He will just think that you’re crying wolf and it will only be a matter of time until you’re back in the affair hot seat. If you put the focus of the breakup on him, he can make excuses that he means at the time but probably don’t hold up after the event and he’ll make promises that he means at the time but is also unlikely to keep. Remind yourself that he is throwing you the crumbs of his time and his emotions. You’d be surprised at how many women act in secrecy, which actually plays even further into the man’s hands as you are totally at the mercy of whatever he is telling you.
It’s because it’s been all about him why you lasted so long with him in the first place. Yes I’m sure there were happy times, but you need to remember how you REALLY felt when you were with him.